Wednesday 7 December 2016

Wrap Up

Well, that's a wrap on my time as a bride! It's been just over three months since the big day. So far so good as far as married life is concerned! I haven't posted in awhile as it has been busy settling into our new married life routine in our new place in a new town. (New town for me anyways!) I really wanted to share one final post with everyone to summarize how things went for us, as well as provide some insight into what you future brides (or perhaps grooms) can expect on your wedding day.

Overall, we definitely exceeded our original budget. We also had more financial assistance than we originally thought so it all worked out in the end! As it turns out, wedding related services are more expensive than we had imagined. Despite underestimating some of our costs, there were several things we didn't want to sacrifice. In our case, we looked at our wedding day as a one time special celebration of our love and union instead of a money-making party. Many couples hope to break even or make money when they get married. While this mindset is totally fine - we did not have this frame of mind when planning our big day. Of course, we didn't spend our money on super extravagent unnecessary items (in our opinion) but we definitely didn't say no to the things we both really wanted.

In addition to constantly changing our minds about things, there were also lots of last minute items to pay for that we didn't even think of. Some things that you don't think to add to the original budget will come up. Examples for us included things like thank you cards, postage, gifts for the wedding party etc. It is always best to make sure you have some extra cash available to you, whether in the form of savings or allowable debt. Also be sure to remember your cheques on the big day!

As the months and weeks flew by, we became more comfortable with the amount of money we had to spend on our wedding. We both really believe that the biggest regrets you can have in life are the things you don't do. We didn't want to look back at our wedding day thinking "I wish we did this, I wish we had that!" For example, we still had a small cake even though we had a dessert buffet, we had our wedding day stationary designed and hand written by a professional calligrapher instead of simply getting these items printed, we served locally purchased loose leaf tea and coffee grinds instead of our venue's standard tea and coffee service, and we splurged on a horse and carriage for transportation instead of a limousine. Of course we could have opted out of these things, but we couldn't imagine our day without them! The small details really made our day special and did not go unnoticed by our guests.

Ultimately, we looked at our wedding as a party for everyone to enjoy - not just ourselves. In our opinion, the details that we incorporated really enhanced the day from our guests' perspective. Sure - we spent a little more than most couples would on certain things, but we felt it was worth it. We actually had quite a few guests tell us that our wedding was the best they had ever been to. Hearing that really made us feel like we accomplished what we had set out to do!

One thing I definitely splurged on was my wedding dress. The dress I chose was at the very top of my comfort spending range, but I loved it in every single way. Sure, I tried on a cheaper one that I liked, but I didn't LOVE it. All along, I felt like the dress was a really big part of my day (perhaps because I've spent the last 8 years working in fashion retail...) and I wasn't prepared to say no to the dress that I loved. I wanted to be able to look back at the photos knowing that I felt and looked my best. My advice on dress shopping is this: don't say no to the dress that you love just because you find a cheaper one that you like. Even though you will only wear the dress once, you will cherish the photos and/or videos forever. Not to mention, all of your guests will forever remember what you looked like on your big day!

We also chose so spend some extra money on a videographer. The going rate for a professional videographer is definitely out of budget for many couples. With so many photos, it is hard to see the value in spending the extra money on such a similar service. Honestly, we were pretty hesitant to book a videographer at first. As I began to read more wedding blogs myself, I realized that forgoing a videographer was a very common regret amongst most brides. That bearing in mind, we started shopping around for a better deal. Luckily, our network came in handy here and we were able to find someone to do it for less than the average rate. We are so happy we have a video of our wedding: to watch ourselves, to share with our family, and to share with those who could not attend. It is the best gift we could have given ourselves and we are so excited to watch it when we celebrate each of our anniversaries!

In regards to wedding day specific advice, I do have a few points to share!

• Stay hydrated. Make sure you sip water constantly before the ceremony. Being properly hydrated helps to calm the nerves, replaces the fluids lost through sweating (which you will be if you are nervous) and ensures clarity of mind so you can really be present in the moment and remember your day! Prevents headaches, heat exhaustion etc.

•Don't drink too much coffee. I had three coffees while getting ready the morning of the wedding and got the jitters which definitely contributed to my nervousness. Also, coffee is dehydrating! (I was able to calm my coffee jitters by sipping plenty of water before the ceremony!)

•Eat. I am not sure how this happens, but apparently it is possible to forget to eat?? Please don't. Ever. But especially not on your wedding day! Small healthy meals to keep you energized. It's a very long day, and you don't want to be hangry...

•Smile! The camera is on you the entire day and the last thing you want is to see yourself sour/stressed in all of your candid photos and/or your wedding video! Smile, laugh and be jolly!

•Do NOT deal with any issues that come up. Your wedding day has arrived, so anything that happens now is completely out of your hands. There will likely be last minute no shows, unexpected seating changes and minor timing  adjustments. You should have someone assigned to deal with these changes outside of your wedding party; whether a trusted venue employee, your MC, or a close family member/friend. (Leave certain people in charge of certain things.) Don't dwell on any deviations from your original plan. Trust that the people you chose to deal with these issues made the best decision possible, and be appreciative!

•Leave for your honeymoon ASAP! Whether the very next day or a couple days later, whether it's just a night or two a short drive away or a few weeks in another country... make sure you take time away together right after the wedding to unwind and finally enjoy each other's company while not planning or stressing over the wedding! Even if the timing isn't great or if money is a concern, still try to do something together right after. Go camping if that's your thing! Just GO! You will never regret it!

As far as following up goes, the most important thing you can do (other than paying your bills) is thank everyone. Thank your guests, thank your venue, thank your vendors, thank your wedding party, and thank your immediate family for their contributions. No matter the size, it takes a few people to make a wedding come together. Everyone who helped out should receive a specific message of thanks for their individual contrubutions. Whether through speech, email, phone, or card/letter, (relating back to my very first blog post), do not forget to be grateful for the love and support from everyone involved! ~♡~